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	Tonight: Danny DeVito, Some White Guy and Some Taller Older White Guy are Dave's guests in a show from Los Alamos. (Expect It 2 B Hott!!!)

Viewers' Choice Poll
Vote for you(r) favorite Late Show episode (TYPO, Dave. Better Fire About 3 Writers 2Nite...)in our Viewers' Choice Poll and we'll air your top 5 choices in an upcoming week of viewer-selected repeats!
Plus, send Dave a get-well e-mail and get an update on his condition in PantsNews.

Dave's Record Collection
Celebrate Dave's birthday three months early with a special custom-recorded song "Happy Birthday, Dave!" in Record Collection.
Plus: Am I the onlyone who remembers when DAVE had that 9am timeslot on NBC?
Was that a dumb century or what???

Last Night's Topic

"Bobby Pet Peeves "

Now Playing On DaveTV Car + Hydraulic Lift + Carton of Fresh Eggs = "Fun in a Car in L.A."

"Ribald News From The Piebald 'Late Show' Home Office"

          
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________________________________________________ ____________________________________ ________________________________________________ (PAWN) ATI RETURNS Activist Times, Inc. is back: Prime Anarchist has resurfaced. Above ground. That's right. You heard it here (MTV! MTV! MTV!) first! After many years under, here it is: ATI 64. 29Jan97 [Publisher's Note] Prime here. Let's get right to business. ATI will come out somewhere between weekly and monthly in the usual ascii format; and it'll be between 7 and 9K each issue. No more 70 page documents. Get all that someplace else, I say. That's been the only big community complaints I heard while hiding. I couldn't do a thing back then except keep submitting my column to Ground Zero somewhere between sporadically and regularly. But now I can tell you I've heard your feedback and shall respond according and thusly. Thanks for all the comments and reviews around superhighwayland. prime your editor at large. or was that... MYTH AND RITUAL IN ANY... ***WE INTERRUPT this column to bring you this, just in: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The PAP, . . prime anar- . . chist prod. . (did you say cattle prod.?) . #'s run. . for Wednesday, end of January, 12:36 a.m. . . . . . . . . . . . . . (after midnight) www. primenet.com/~sdn Auntie Roberta www. well.com/user/crunch Can'n Crunch. (Not the cereal, silly.) www.bigmountain-onelove.com The Reggae Band. www.eff.org Blue Ribbon = free speech 516-922-wine Jackie Martling's joke phone is still up. www.nepanthes.com c00l halucino-history stuff www.cruzio.com/~blackops R U Illuminaried??? www.brandeis.edu/students/st951310 Uncle Abbie!!! http://swissnet/group42/anarchy nne: (needs no...) I promise more as I stumble onto 'em. MYTH AND RITUAL IN ANY US CITY: a MetroMythic Mythic Petroglyph. If you're sitting in a Taco Bell eating lunch you must place a soda-card flat on your forehead and count to exactly 23. 69 out of every 432 people win a taco, 13 will win a burrito and 9 people get dinner with Hans Solo. 1 gets a B2 bomber or an F111-A, take your pick. Losers get EWOK T-Shirts. a song (just like olde thymes) HEY MON (c 1988. Marc Weisenheimer) to the tune of Reggae.1 wav file on your soundblaster demo if you have one. A D E Bm chord chart if you don't. There's a guy where I work from Jamaica way Hey mon, hey mon. All day long you can hear him say Hey mon, hey mon. Got me a friend from barbados 'ya. H m. h m If you'll listen up here you'll a catch em too ya H m h m (ch) Hey mon, Hey mon. That's all he say, Hey mon, Hey mon. Teach us to sing his way. Got a buddy down there in Panama H m H m Even though they try to stop him he be tryin to say H m H m Can't get a job cause the hair too long H m H m So the people down there they just sing along. H m h m (ch: repeat and fade, etc.) A PAP ----> Prime Anarchist Palindrome. Ma, Jesus; use jam! Marco's Favorite Name Of The Week. Ludwig Van Baked Oven. futbol, you bet: Prime Anarchist's Packer Play by Play. Part 1. This is sponsored by the letter P. i came up with this analysis of Superbowl XXXI Sunday night. Hope you like it. Tell me if you agree or disagree with stuff... Army Be all you can be, call our homepage. www.runpasspuntkill.com Budweiser for the usual blase bud bowl. Time to think up a new twist, guys. Fox for Simpsons, King of the Hill, and some other show that Xcapes me right now. Meanwhile, Miss Piggy falls for a guy who tries to steal her potatoe chips. Pig that she is, she punches him in the chops. No more neck nuzzling for you, bub. America's Pork Producers program us to see that pork is the other white meat. Pizza Hut for more and more pepperoni. Count 'em. 66 per pizza. Fox for Party of 5. Lays sponsors the kickoff show. Luthor Vandross is puttin' on a little weight. Even in sweats, he's kinda chubby. Jazzed up the National Anthem fine, except hardly anyone could follow it. Pepsi for generation neXt. Compuserve for dependable Internet. A Prime Phantasy: CSI we promise not to phuck up like AOL. How many dogs can you fit in a Nissan? 16 if you sing Low Rider. Some metalled out version of Winter Wonderland every time you see Baked Lays flash on the screen. "A one horse open sleigh." Shouldn't that only have its run during Christmas??? What's with the FOX statistical graphics lookin' like Robo-Cop. Click, click, chung. Click, click, humm. Chung, humm, click, click, chung. Dante's Peak, opening soon to a Theatre near you. (To Be Con't in ATI 65...) Aw, heck. That only make 5K, I say "go for broke." Like they told Kerouac, "Keep typing, typist." Darth Vader and a movie usher duke it out. Pepsi/Starwars. The merger from HELL!!! I want you to see Luxxotica eyewear. MCI launches a multicultural looking school into virtual outerspace. Police without pepsi is like cows going to market? USDA prime beef. (you guys owe me $7.) Breath Right Strips. Pigs. Colonel Pidgeon Dirty Bird tries to Smart Bomb a Nissan. He's about as accurate as "we" were in Desert Panty Shield. Taco Bell again with the force. Feel the forehead. Hank Hill of Fox tells us about vegetarianism. Chick peas, potatoes, wheatgrass, and all, but he mispronounces humus. Or does he??? Pepcid AC, Dirt Devil and Fox sponsored this maalox moment. Bob Dole loses his visa-ginnity; while Janus wants you to see their no-loads. Dirt Devil dances down a flight of stairs. Dorothy would be proud. Or at least chuckle. Or wouldst she be pissed? Cindy "Catera" Crawford sees the Wiz, who tells her to get the Caddy that zigs. Well, she already has hips that wig. Me thinks she's getting too much work lately. Hey, leave some for the rest of us, eh? Sure beats riding the Oscar Mayer halftime bus. If you're good, we'll photocopy you an enlarged bottle of rotted vegetable matter. Bud light-- a keg of buzz. Chris Eliot mails himself to his junkfoodaholic mom. A court jester dies of the Ebonics virus from eating the other white meat, pork. (hey, I speak fluent Ebola) Then he comes back to life eating all the feast for himself after the whole court had fled. You notice nobody seems to care about cheerleaders this year? Howeird Stern pops pills while his son kicks him in the... Did I mix 2 ads up? Oh well. Autobytel.com ride the info super hi way in a new carpayment. The Oscar Mayer Hydraulic halftime show. Hockey on Fox, or was that Foxy on Hox??? Roundie's canned goods. We promise no botchelism in our fruits and veggies. Did everyone vote superbowl.com? Sorry, prime says, "blues brothers suck without John Belushi" If they try to sing King Bee I'm gonna puke. Looks like James Brown doesn't feel so good lately. Well, at least he's got us. Old and out of shape as he is, the boy sure can move though. He's still got some of it. Hard to notice through the huge ensemble of distractionary female units. He moves almost as good as Belushi used to. ZZTop brought out some serious tush. What's with the choreographed stripper-looking dancers during "legs???" I wonder how much of the stadium rolled up dollar bills and tried to rush the stage? Full frontal ensemble with motorcycles. Blase finale. Sorry, Radio City Music Hall. Even with Paul Schaeffer, this is about the lamest halftime show I remember. Blame Oscar Mayer maybe? Not fox. No way. Ameritech caller ID. Turn in your mom for smoking pot. Somebody's been sleeping in my Pepsi. The four bears for free stuff. Use a Pepsi Club (tm) in your Porsche-- carjackers will cower and run the moment they see it. Or will they laugh? How many anthropologists does it take to screw in a Budweiser commercial? Two if you pay them enough. Of course after you've returned to your nachos, and eaten everything else your TV told you, you'll need Pepcid AC with all new pentium processors. MCI teaches compuserve chat symbols. %-) We have the place surrounded. Come out with your beers up. This movie has not been titled yet. Hell, we don't even know what the theme we're going to plug in yet. But come see it February at a theatre near you. We know it's gonna be good. Holiday Inn is going to spend a billion bucks putting new Gideon Bibles in all their rooms. Immodium AD for the schitts you get believing all this schtuff. AT&T busting our balls. How many pizza delivery men do YOU know who show up in a brand new Saturn??? Yeah, he needs tips!!! ATI comes out semiregularly. Get it online. Look for it by name. Send all correspondence to ati@etext.org
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